Don?t Give Your Man Away To Another Woman
How many times do we hear it?
“Sure, after I trained him to be the perfect boyfriend, he breaks up with me and goes to be perfect for someone else.?
Has this happened to you?
We can learn a lot from our short term relationships. We bump and
bruise each other like bumper cars in an old time amusement park. We
fight, argue, push our weight around or we withdraw, pout and
manipulate.
Isn’t that a charming list of behaviors! If we think that our man of the moment is the One, these ups and downs can be devastating.
If he IS the One, fear of losing him can take your power away from you
and you will start compromising on some things you know are not right
for you. No wonder we are in a mess when it comes to sorting out our
feelings and getting really clear?.I mean REALLY CLEAR on what we want
in a partner.
When your man disappoints you, it is painful, I know because I went
through a disappointing event with my man just a few hours ago. The
first thing I did, which was different for me, was to say “Could we not
decide right now? Could we table this and at least talk about it
later?? He agreed and I left the room.
I felt hurt and sad and everything in me, well that is not so true
anymore, but a rather large part of me wanted to blame him for making
me feel so bad. After all, his words made my heart start to hurt?.or did they?
I am learning that the emotional pain I feel when my man disappoints me was there all the time.
He doesn’t climb inside of my body and pinch me in the place where I
feel my heart ache. I am learning that the spot within me that aches
when he acts in certain ways is simply a place where my body has agreed
to carry the emotional pain from past events.
What you say? The past is in the past and that is that. I don’t let any of that drama bother me anymore.
I hear you! I know you have moved on and have turned your back on a
lot of the hurtful relationships you have had in the past and I
say?.you go girl!! But, and this is a big one, how sure are you that you are not missing some emotional energy still stuck to the ghosts in your past?
That is why, and ladies?.write this down?.you can learn to actually
be grateful for the hurt feelings that your man brings up in you. Look,
you have to admit, half the time he upsets you he simply says something
stupid that he doesn’t really mean at all, right?
Learn to look at yourself differently and you will respond to him differently?.guaranteed.
After I got my own self back in balance, I went outside and
meditated and rested for an hour (VERY unusual behavior for me, as I am
about a 15 minute meditater) and re-entered life. I still felt a little
hurt but I had convinced myself that if his opinion was right that it
would all work out ok. I decided on a course of action that felt
neutral and I felt calm about it.
We had a brief and peaceful follow up chat and things are smoothing out.
I know that I am changing as I allow myself to recognize when I am
upset and simply handle it differently than I usually do. Breaking
habitual relationship behavior is an excellent way to plow the ground
and get ready to plant new skills , new fun and new lovin’!
The road to self love and self compassion is the only one that counts!
Catherine
About the author
Are you out of tune with your man? Did he used to be in to you but now you are not so sure? Were you sure he was your soul mate and now you are thinking, “What was I thinking??
Looking for more ideas on how to enhance your relationship? Would you
like to feel more loved and cherished? Maybe your Love Set Point is
set too low. Take control of your love life! Click here for a complimentary strategy session.
Tags: amusement park, bumper cars, emotional pain, fear, feelings, heart ache, man of the moment, old time, perfect boyfriend, pout, term relationships, ups, ups and downs
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