Too Much Husband!
While presenting a stress management workshop, the participants were asked to tell what their daily stressors were. Without hesitation, one lady shouted out, “Too much husband!” Apparently, her husband had recently retired and was just plain getting in her way.
This woman had had a well-greased routine that she followed every day. For years, she got all her chores done with no interruptions or annoyances. Now… every time she turned around, there he was. He was poking into things, getting in the way, and becoming a major annoyance. She couldn’t move without him looking over her shoulder, asking what she was doing, or just standing where she wanted to be going. It had been her turf for a good many years, and now her space was being invaded.
Somehow, I feel this is not an isolated situation. I’m sure it happens everyday all over the country. Spouses retire and end up wandering aimlessly about the house with no direction or plan. If the other spouse has been in charge of the territory for any amount of time, they are bound to feel like there is an intruder in their space. One woman was overheard saying that she was looking forward to her husband’s retirement… “as long as he gets a job”. Obviously, she didn’t want him lazing around the house. I don’t think this applies only to males that retire.
Imagine this scenario. You have been productive and contributing to a common goal for all your working years. Now, all of a sudden, you find yourself doing little of significance, and there is no reason to get out of bed in the morning. Where is your feeling of self-worth, of utility and status? You may have a feeling of losing your identity. All these things come with having a job, or career. You have had purpose, and now in retirement you may feel that you have lost all this.
The solution of course is to plan your retirement. The financial planners have done a great job of creating an awareness of our financial needs in retirement. What about our emotional and psychological needs? Retirement to some is an escape from the drudgery of everyday work. In that case, sitting on the front porch watching the cars go by seems like a luxury. Fishing and golf also look like great alternatives. How long can you do that? We may now have another twenty to thirty years after retirement. How can we make those years the best years of our lives?
We also have many possibilities and opportunities that didn’t exist for previous generations. Traveling around the world or exploring our beautiful country is a great possibility. Starting a small business doing what you’ve always loved to do, can re-energize you and bring in a little extra cash. Personally, I like the idea of going to clown school and doing what we always got into trouble for doing in school.
Whether it be clown school, starting a small business, or sitting on the porch, I strongly advise getting on the internet or researching the library to explore the options. We are very lucky to be in a generation where we have increased health and longevity. Regardless of your financial situation, life can be amazing during the latter years. We only need to take the time to explore our interests and choose to live an active, vital life with meaning and purpose.
Bryan Gorrie is a certified professional coach (CPCC) and accredited (PCC) by the International Coach Federation. He is also a certified retirement coach and works to help people design and live the best years of their life in retirement. Please find more information at http://www.p3learning.ca and http://www.thenextchapter.ca and read his blog at; http://www.bryan-thenextchapter.blogspot.com
Tags: retire, retirement, retirement coaching, retirement planning
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