Parenting Is A 24 Hour A Day Job
When I was growing up, our parents protected us from the evil that was out there. In today’s world, we have to educate our children to the risks they face out in the big bad world.
My kids are both teenagers now, and I have one of each (boy and girl). My daughter just got her drivers license at the ripe old age of 16. At least the laws have changed, and the son will have to have his permit for two full years, meaning he won’t be able to drive by himself until he is 17. It is the small wonders in life that keep me sane.
The laws in our state of Colorado also limit who can be in the vehicle. Family members are OK, but one must have their driver’s license for at least 6 months before a friend can be added, another 3 months before the second friend can join in. And of course, the ubiquitous curfew keeps them from being out too late at night.
But what do they do once they are home? With school out, the kids never go to bed until the wee hours of the morning, which means half their life is spent up while I am sound asleep. Why should this worry me, you might ask? One simple word, which has many meanings: Internet.
Between online chatting (think MSN, AOL Instant Messaging or Yahoo messaging), social home page sites (MySpace, FaceBook, and more), my kids are exposed to the evils of the world 24 hours a day. And since it is my job (at least until they are 18) to protect them, parenting has, in fact, become a 24 hour a day job.
So, how do you protect them from the evils of the Internet? Step one: no computers behind closed doors. Keep those kid’s PCs out in the open where there is a risk they may get caught. It is amazing how much more careful they are when they think someone may be watching.
As far as social home pages, instead of saying “NO”, say “As long as I am a member, and you keep them to invitation only!” Again, the slight fear that I may actually know how to find and look at their home pages is enough to keep at least the more honest of kids a little safer.
If you don’t trust your child (shame on you for not doing a better job parenting when they were younger), then there are more drastic steps to take. For example, most chat systems can be recorded, so simply set them up to record (you choose whether to disclose this to your child or not), and review them as much as you feel is necessary.
And the most drastic step of all, limit Internet access to daylight hours. Almost all home routers have some form of restrictions capability, and it is as simple as blocking access for a given MAC address except to certain hours of the day.
Fine, you say, but what about all this cell phone text messaging? Did you know that all the major carriers have to provide you with the actual text messages sent to or from any phone that you have payment responsibility for? That’s right, simply contact your wireless carrier and ask for access to the text messages for whichever phone number you want to investigate.
Or don’t, because by the time your children are teenagers, they have pretty much become the people they will be as grown ups, as far as what they view as right and wrong, and where they draw their moral lines.
Owen Walcher is an author and concerned parent who has created a parenting tips website at: http://www.qualityparentingtips.com
Tags: children, parent job, parenting, teen agers
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